How to Learn to Not Give a F@ck

I recently traveled through a busy airport and found myself staring at a wall of New York Times Best Seller's.  I needed something.  Something to keep my mind busy while traveling all night across the Atlantic and across time zones.  I was prepared to be tired, almost 20 years in this career have prepared me for this trip.  My best friend and I had planned this trip for the past 10 years.  When she turned 50 she would start her new life and retire from the career that brought our friendship together.  I'm excited for her! She is going to do all the things we've talked about... then why did her exit feel so sad.  Change is hard.  People moving on is difficult when you love them. When you really want them to stay because of the memories you share.  

Anyway, back to the book shelf.  My eyes caught a book I've wanted to read for years, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" by Mark Manson. It was published in 2016 and as of September 2019 it has sold over 8 million copies.  I felt this trip was a pivotal moment and required a pivotal book to snap my head back from being an emotional baby and enjoy the time we have.  I needed something to remind me our time is valuable, probably our biggest commodity.  We shouldn't waste it. So, I bought the book.  It was great.  I read it on the flight and finished prior to landing in Madrid. (It's a quick read.) Here are the main take aways...

Summaries by James Clear...

• Conventional self-help advice which tells you to visualize success and think about the type of person you want to be only reinforces the idea that you are not that thing.
• Everyone wants you to believe that the secret to a good life is to have a nicer job or a better car or a prettier girlfriend.
• The key to a good life is not giving a f@ck about more; it’s giving a f@ck about less, giving a f@ck about only what is true and immediate and important.

• The moments when we don’t give a f@ck and take action are often the moments that most define the course of our lives.

• If you are able to not give a f@ck about the pain your goals require, then you become unstoppable.(Clear, James.https://jamesclear.com/book-summaries/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fck)

 

• Subtlety #1: Not giving a f@ck is not about being indifferent. It just means you’re comfortable with being different. Don’t say f@ck it to everything in life, just to the unimportant things.
• Subtlety #2: To not give a f@ck about adversity, you must first care about something more important than adversity.
• Subtlety #3: Whether you realize it or not, you are always choosing what to give a f@ck about. The key is to gradually prune the things you care about, so that you only give a f@ck on the most important of occasions.(Clear, James.https://jamesclear.com/book-summaries/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fck)

 Here's another short video to summerizes some more of the main points.  I think this guy says it perfectly.  I hope you enjoy and are a little uncomfortable with this post... it means you learned something.